Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
