I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
