when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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