Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
