I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
false alarm. still invincible.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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