a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Randomize
