I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
