If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
