My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
