Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Randomize
