school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
