You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
