so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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