if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
