We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
