so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
