Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
