He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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