I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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