This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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