ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...

  Fav 23 5144 1135

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse

  Fav 37 3481 1145

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina

  Fav 30 798 9165

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely

  Fav 7 3118 1266

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you

  Fav 2 2330 1110

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.

  Fav 14 4176 1414

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (415): View more from California

  We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.

  (916): View more from California

  Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.

  (415): View more from California

  HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.

  Fav 15 2097 1003

  share tweet
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.

  Fav 3 1310 568

  share tweet
  

• (985): View more from Louisiana

  I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary

  Fav 4 700 638

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (320): View more from Minnesota

  Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.

  Fav 1 998 525

  share tweet
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.

  Fav 1 488 678

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave

  Fav 0 330 225

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.

  Fav 1 204 98

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios

  Fav 2 39 18

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.

  Fav 0 14 20

  share tweet
  

Randomize