i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.