It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.