she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
