I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize