I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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