his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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