He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
