Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
