i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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