I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize