you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
