another moral hangover. fuck.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
