meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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