one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
