I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
