The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
