I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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