I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
