'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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