I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
