Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
