Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
