I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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