She is in my trunk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
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I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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