Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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