Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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