drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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