Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize