my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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