STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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