If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
