Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
