No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
