Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize