I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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