is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
