Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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