that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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