Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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