I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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