What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
