Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize