And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
